SPAM

dont worry this is not a blog about that god awful stuff they used to fry in batter in first school no this blog is about penis enlargment.....

why is it that not 15mins after i delete 137spam messages from my email account do i find 39 emails in my junk folder asking me if i want a penis enlargement!!! NO I DON'T FUCKING WANT ONE.....

where do they get my email addy from i wanna know?...when they get it dont they check to see what sex you are first i mean if they want to sell their crap wouldnt it be better to ensure you aiming the product at the right audience??

i mean seriously i dont have a penis to enlarge...send me spam asking if i want someone to do my ironing...someone to do my dishes n hey then id be clicking buy now in a second lol. id click it in a mili second if someone spamed me asking if i wanted a penis....the real macoy but without the male attatched now that would be worth marketing....

anyway if any men out there want a penis enlargement then drop me a note n ill forward on the emails i get them everyday lol.....oh but i must tell all you men out there contemplating it...penis envy is a guy thing us girls aint bothered as long as u know what your doing with it then its all good lol

student to staff nurse

GOD HOW LONG SINCE I BLOGGED??


Well I am now officially a Staff Nurse, yip I have graduated and am now working in a local hospital.

Life as a Qualified Nurse differs somewhat to that of a student so many things have changed...

1) I have to pay council tax now .... that's bloody expensive and I'm not sure what it's actually for because I ain't ever seen a bobby on the beat and the council have been digging up the paths round here and they in a worse state than they were before lol.

2) My son now recognises that Mammy is working and suddenly his Xmas list got longer knowing mammy earns some cash now.

3) My opinion of Dr's has changed from cute n really intelligent to :.... OH MY GOD WHAT AN ARROGANT FUCK WIT!!!

4) My Uniform is much sexier....still fucking ugly but better than my student one!

5) I am now accountable for my actions n if i kill someone i loose my job instead of some1else lol


OK well think i need to start blogging here again .... be back soon hopefully

Decorating

I'm busy decorating my kitchen (or should I say my dad is LOL) I had it fitted b4 Christmas and just had tiling done and am now removing wall paper to put up new....I wanted to just put up lining paper and paint it ...Ok I know its cheating and I should get walls plastered so I could paint that but I encountered so many problems walls falling to bits etc that extra cost had already come into effect so anyways....I am busy stripping the old paper off the walls and I need to say it hasn't been decorated since I moved in 6yrs ago other than paint work being done and I want to scream at the previous owners and the owners b4 them and the owners b4 them LOL...here is little old me telling my dad sure Da ill strip the walls no probs...I love stripping wall paper very therapeutic so I jump up on my little ladders and get out the hot water n sponge n my little yellow handled scraper (its soooo cute) and strip off the layer of paper and what do I find...the top layer comes of leaving the backing paper so I wet my sponge again and start the next round...so off comes the backing paper and what do I find??

yup u guessed it more fucking wall paper...the bastards papered on top of paper I mean how fecking lazy can ya get??? un deterred I grabbed a coffee and re wet my sponge and jumped back on my ladder a bit of portishead playing in the back ground I carried on....An hour later and another layer of fucking wall paper had been discovered this a fantastic crappy yellow/green brownish check Hmmmm tasteful who the fucked used to live here it was like something out the wonder years (u know the t.v show) ok so now I getting seriously pissed I mean how lazy can people get?? paper on top of paper on top of paper this is now 3 layers....

ok now I getting to the stage of wanting to give up...but no I promised my Da id strip these walls...I mean he is getting old and well its the least I can do....

ok let's re-evaluate

right I got it

"hi mam can u have little one tonight so I can get the walls finished for dad?"
"sure hun fetch him round at 6"

"hey hun (mate) fancy few drinks round mine tonight?"
"sure ill be there at 7 shall I bring a bottle?"
"yup my mum has little one so can get smashed...see u at 7"

right re-enforcement on their way this wont take long n drinks will make it more bearable

ok so mates here wine has been drunk (3bottles between the two of us) and that yellow greenish brown checked paper has finally been stripped wooooohooooo oh my god what's that it cant be...you can be serious this just cant be happening I've filled about 6black refuse bags with paper and yup u guessed it here is another frigging layer...this ones not actually too bad...well that's if ya like bright aqua and orange together mmmmmm classy...

right ok the lazy bastards have had me strip 4layers and I've had it I not doing anymore sod it Da I tried I sorry but I just can do this any more....

so my dad's on his way round today with some thick wall paper I can put over the god knows how many layers that's left and I gonna paint that.... Sod the lining paper....Sod the nice smooth walls bring on the blow vinyl LOL

as the say....you can beat em join em....

so if in around 3years or so....when I move out, some lad or lass is blogging about stripping a few layers of wall paper in the kitchen calling the previous owner a lazy cow for papering on paper...you can tell her...you can point her to my blog and tell her I worked my ass off n she can go to hell coz I don't care anymore.....I just want a kitchen that looks like a kitchen instead of a building site....

When they Hurt......

Well this is a blog that is for some friends of mine....in fact it for my best friend and her husband....

You have both been together since before we met
a closeness we have found
a friendship that in stone is set
a friendship that is bound


Now you've parted your family ways
I'm here to let you know
a friend to you both, I will always be
in times of good and time of bad
you can count on me

I know you both hurt at a love now gone
I know you both have cried
I taste your tears
I feel your pain
I know talking you have tried

so here I sit not knowing
how this world will end
when a pair of perfect lovers
become two separate friends

I've a shoulder you can cry on
I've a hand you can lend
I've coffee in the pot
I've a ear that you can bend

I want you both to realise....
I'm here if I can help
pick up the phone and call
or shout over the garden fence

my love to you both...I hope you find happiness...

BAD BOYS "V" GOOD GUYS

Bad boys bad boys whatcya gonna do?....

here it is folks, girls want a nice guy to hold them and love them and call them princess and all that other shite right?!....well not me!, I cant stand that mushy crap but we will not go there just yet for the sake of this blog will we leave me out of the equation...

so I wanna know when girls are out on the drink why is it that they are instantly attracted to the bad boys?...why is it that married men...involved men and men who don't want anything other than a bit of good old rough n tumble sex are the guys women go weak at the knees for...they know they only after one thing yet they get all upset when they get it and don't come back...are women screwed in the head?...I mean its like ... stupid cow he told ya he just wanted a shag...you give him it and now you crying coz he gone....

I am probably pissing many women off with this blog but ah well like I care...women are emotional fuckwits I tell ya they don't know what they want...myself excluded remember....well they do but they ruin it when they get it...come on you lads know it...a woman says she wants an nice guy ...gets one and ends up turning him into a bad boy...I've done it! I will include myself here...

why do women do it?...we only have ourselves to blame...all the assholes out there...chances are they were once a nice guy, real loving and affectionate true old fashioned gents and we fucked them up...we moaned and twisted and told them nothing was good enough...you guys know what I mean...so why do we do it?...well I've got a thought...

maybe I am the only woman (well no I do know one other who has realised it)...we don't want to be chained to the sink anymore...we want freedom and independence...we wanna do what we want... when we want it we don't want the stress that comes with having to worry about the guys feelings....and with a nice guy you have to think of his feelings with a bad boy you don't....

so here it stands i am a selfish bitch who has finally realised look out for number one...live my dreams and grab a bad boy for some hot steamy kinky sex when needs be...lasses its fantastic this way...lads...would u prefer it if ya woman was a little less demanding...and a lot more horny?...sure ya would....its about time folks realised the bad boys are the good guys....

the reason women say they want a nice guy...is coz that's what's expected that's what we're brainwashed into thinking we want and need...and the reason we screw the nice lads around is coz deep down they not what we want...they're hard work and of course no woman is turned on by a guy who is a pushover we dont wanna guy who sits in all day and festers while he waits for us to call we have no respect for that guy...

so here is my thought...lads be nice sure don't beat the crap out of us but don't be all soft n mushy...keep some of that bad boy in ya...coz we want it....and we want it BAD....

GUILT

can I ask folks who the bloody hell invented guilt....God?...what an ass....I mean come on what purpose does guilt serve except to make you feel like shite?!?!

I mean who wants to feel like that? not me! but guess what.... it's programmed into us!! I need to find some1 who knows how to remove that part of the human system....I mean is it like windows is there an add/remove programme section?...If so how do I find it coz I want to click "remove file"......i mean its got a bloody virus!! its a pain in the ass and don't get me wrong I like it in the ass LOL but not that... not guilt....

why cant we just enjoy our lives have fun with whomever we choose without having to feel guilt...yeah murderers and nasty people like that should be made to feel guilt....I don't think it should be removed from bad people....but little old me...I want it out....

I don't wanna cook his tea I don't wanna wash his smelly socks and I don't wanna spend my life with him...I just wanna be his mate and have him shag the ass off me...What's wrong with that....nothing I don't think....why should I feel guilty for wanting that?....but oh no god has to invent guilt and guilt settles in and gets in the fucking way!! and once again I'm left holding the vibrator and the frigging batteries have died...I mean god for fucks sake... give me a break!!!